If we are really following Jesus, we will go to the hard places. Being a Christ follower means being acquainted with sorrow. Because we must know sorrow to be able to fully appreciate Joy. Joy costs pain, but the pain is worth it.
My prayer today is that I will allow the Lord to make me into who He desires me to be. God, you are constantly at work to shape me in the wholeness of Christ, you know the hardness of the structures of my being that resist your shaping touch. You know the deep inner rigidities of my being that reject your changing grace. By your grace soften my hardness and rigidity; help me to become pliable in your hands. Even as I pray this, may there be a melting of my innate resistance to your transforming love.
The other day I went for a run where in between struggling for deep breaths (seriously, it was so cold I couldn't breathe) I began to weep. I challenge ya'll to go for a run in the below zero weather and cry out to Jesus at the same time. It is pretty much an oxygen tanks dream come true. I was running, jamming to Watermark, and crying out to the Lord. I have hit a place in my life that I don't have any control. I have felt my heart ache a deep ache. The other morning I woke up and all I could do was read scripture. Do you ever feel the weight of this life to where you can't move? I laid in my bed and as I read His word, I literally felt my heart lift. I read in Galatians 6:7-10 about what we reap is what we sow. And let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if WE DO NOT GIVE UP. Therefore, as we have OPPORTUNITY, let us do good to all people, especially to those who belong to the family of believers.
Those words hit me deeply. When I was running I was crying out to Jesus because I was tired of loving so well, I was tired of really seeking Him and not seeing my desires being met, I cried out to Him to provide a community that really is after His heart in the way I long to be. I cried out to Him to provide friends that are selfless and deeply committed to the KINGDOM, not the pettiness of this world. When I read these words, He whispered in my ear, "I see you Chelsey. I know your heart is weary. I know you desire to be with your husband. I know you are tired of being a good friend. BUT don't give up. Don't think that you are waisting away. I am MAKING YOU INTO THE WOMAN I CREATED YOU TO BE!" Gosh, can we say phewww! Here I am having a pity party for myself when all along Jesus is fashioning me, changing me, molding me, transforming me from the inside out. He is calling me to be the change this world needs. HE IS CALLING YOU TO BE THE CHANGE THIS WORLD NEEDS. He is calling us to NOT GIVE UP. Even if you are single and 22 years old. Even if you have a college degree and you are a full time nanny. Even if you love your friends deeply and intentionally and don't receive the same in return. Even if your family thinks your nuts because you want to hold the broken, the lost, and the needy and don't care to make 80K a year. He is enough! He is my COMPLETE JOY! He is what sustains me! He is what fills me up. HE is what says I am altogether beautiful just the way I am.
Listen to "Constant" by: Watermark! He is constant! He goes after EVERY heart! Lets be a body that is constantly running after HIM!
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