Wednesday, July 28, 2010

Shopping Really Is Great Medicine Sometimes..

Welp, I just went on a major shopping spree. When my parents find out they might ship me to Shopaholics Anonymous! My dad has been saying for years how all three of us need to go to a meeting haha. But, good thing my roommate told me that 78% of what I bought is just not okay. It's funny how when you are in the dressing room trying on piece after piece, envisioning where you will go in each outfit everything looks good. But then, you get home and weeks go by while these news clothes just sit in your closet and you think to yourself.. one day maybe I'll wear that.
Oh well, I got some fantastic sweat pants and a cute black shirt with a pocket.. every girl needs that one solid black shirt to wear. And sweats... HELLO... major staple in a college girls wardrobe!

Tuesday, July 27, 2010

In All Things I WIll Praise Your Name!

"Your name is a strong and mighty tower. Your name is a shelter like no other. Your name.. let the nations sing it louder. Nothing has the power to save, but your name JESUS!"

So, I am working on this whole being vulnerable thing. Allowing my own self to go to the mess of my heart. I know that the Lord is up to something huge, because I have never felt the enemy attack me so hard before. The last two nights I lay awake tossing and turning. Replaying old memories, recent memories in my head. I felt such an attack come over me that I honestly could not think of anything but going into a deep sleep to get away from the attack. Last night, I was getting ready for bed and Jesus said to me, "you have not been using your sword that I gave to you. " I glanced over at my little green bible, my sword, sitting next to my bed. I picked it up and began to read. As I read in Acts peace came over me. I put it down and thought now I will sleep. As I tried to drift to sleep, the attacks raged again. I decided to take it as a compliment that I am that big of a threat to satan, which means I am an even bigger asset to the Kingdom.

Sunday, July 25, 2010

Reaching Into The Chaos

So, the other day David from work turned and said to me, "remind me to tell you something later." I shook my head and continued on with what I was doing. I ended up forgetting to remind him and a couple days went by. In those days, I became very much aware of a stirring that was taking place inside of me. It was a familiar stir, but one I had not felt in quite a while. I had been pondering the season that I am in. I heard the Lord say, "I am just beginning something new inside of you, but you must allow me to have access to the depths of you. To your passions. To your dreams. To your fears. To your tears. I have to have access to all of you." I wasn't sure what to do, so I just kept on with what was in front of me. I come into work a few days later and David says to me, "I knew you weren't ready to hear what I was going to tell you and that's why you forgot to remind me. But, I feel like now is the right time." I said okay and he proceeds to tell me of a vision the Lord had given him of me. He describes that I am on the shore and the Lord is calling my name to follow Him out into the water. I begin walking deeper into the ocean when in my hand is my phone and it rings. I look at my phone and my mind starts to think of my family, my friends, my life as a 22 year old girl living in Knoxville, TN. I then turn back towards the ocean and see Jesus. He motions for me to come to Him. I look at my phone, throw it down and with the biggest smile run into the arms of my Father.

David then asks me, "what is the Lord showing you right now, is this relevant?" With tears in my eyes, in the middle of Nordstrom, I reply, "He is beginning something new within me and He wants every piece of me! I keep fighting. I keep running and hiding myself. While He is continuing to call out my name to fall into His arms, but I keep falling into the arms of the world."


I couldn't get over the vision the Lord gave David for me. I was speechless. The Lord continues to say to me, "Your story has an irreplaceable role in what I am up too, allow me to use ALL of you."

"Well, I will walk by faith even when I can not see, Because this broken road prepares your will for me and even when I am broken I still see YOUR face and HEAR voice in my ear."

Wednesday, July 21, 2010

Flipping the Page...

This is the start of the next chapter of my life. I am about to graduate from college. Never thought this day would come. When I was in High school I had envisioned my life for the time that I was in college. But, after college I just do not know what to expect. So, I am living with my hands open. My life open. I know and believe that what Jeremiah says in 29:11 “For HE knows the plans He has for me,” is true. So here we go...buckle up and hold on tight because this ride is about to begin.

As I live in Palm Beach Gardens, FL interning for Nordstrom, I wonder where I am going to go next. I have a little bit of security since I am going home for five months to finish up school. But, other than that I have no idea what is ahead. It’s kind of freeing to not know. It’s also kind of scary.

Let me just say this Summer has been one heck of a summer. I have learned how to sell Men’s clothing like no ones business. I have learned how to start a grill and make a mean pizza on it. I have learned how to rollerblade in 100 degree heat. I have learned that when they say do the crocodile at a dance club you should just close your eyes. I have learned how to put together a fashion show in two weeks. I have learned how to use a mac. I have learned that it is hard to keep up with everyone when your life is on a different schedule. I have learned that my family and best friends really are God’s tangible gifts to me. I have learned that He has to be my source of strength or I won’t get very far. I have learned that my passions can not be tucked away. I have learned that my heart beats to a new beat when I think about my Summer in Pemba. I have learned that I am HIS and He is mine. I have learned that MY story alone is powerful. I have learned that this summer, although stretching and hard, has been one I will never forget.