Tuesday, November 30, 2010

The Waiting Room.

Welp, let me send a shout out from the waiting room. It's rather nice in here I guess you could say. I have a lot of peace. I am just chilling. Today, I woke up, went to campus, presented to Altar'd State our project, had lunch with a dear friend, went to Clarabelle and the Hen, picked two kids up from the bus stop in a monsoon, met one of my favorite girls in the world for dinner, met another sweet friend to go to the UT basketball game after we drank boxed wine in her car first (don't judge us), then came home chatted it up with three roommates, took a shower and prayed and cried out to my Jesus, and here I sit writing on here! My life is rather MONOTONOUS. I do just about the same thing everyday of the week. I am about as ready for a change as a 3 year old is ready for Santa on Christmas Eve. I am praying God would bring a little pazazz to my life. I don't know if that means my husband is just gonna waltz in my life tomorrow about 3:00 when I am pulling into the Weigels to get my daily pick me up of a double shot coffee drink. OR if that means I am going to move to Haiti to be a teacher for four precious little ones. OR if I am going to get this Administrative Assistant job at the Law firm. OR I am going to move to Uganda and hold orphans in the red dirt. OR I am going to nanny my life away and then do the Fellows Program. OR maybe I am going to wake up tomorrow morning and in my sleep I will have become the world's greatest pianist (holla at my Cyd) and people from all over the world will pay me millions to come and play for them. I HAVE NOT THE SLIGHTEST CLUE what this pazazz I am praying for is going to look like. But, it's rather exciting to sit back, pour me a glass or four glasses of wine and allow HIS HAND to lead me the whole way. ABC Family has been playing some kickin shows, so I'll just sit my tush down watch me some Home Alone 1 2 3 & 4 and pray that HE will continue to hold my hand and continue to fill me with this peace that surpasses ALL understanding!

Til next time folks, rest in HIS peace. No matter what your circumstances are HE. IS. A. GOD. OF. PEACE. and He will meet you in the process, He will meet you right where you are with open arms. Now, do your part and collapse in the arms of your Papa and rest! HE has it all under control!

Monday, November 29, 2010

Faith That MOVES Mountains...

The Lord is calling me to have faith that moves mountains. At first I was like, um...no thanks I think so so would be better at this one. I have never in my life been at a place where the only one, the only tangible thing I can hold onto is HIM. This season of life is one I would like to hurry up and get through. Lots of unknowns and very few knows. I wake up in the middle of the night tossing and turning. I wake up in the morning praying for strength to walk the motions of another monotonous day. When asked the dreaded question, "so, what is next?" I am learning to not gag and turn the other way and sprint, but instead to embrace the unknown. I am learning to enjoy the process of where I am. The process is right where He wants me.

I am praying for that faith Matthew talks about. The kind of faith that is like a mustard seed. The kind of faith that can say to a mountain "move mountain move!" The kind of faith that says nothing is impossible. (Matthew 17:20)

So here I sit. Here I wait patiently. Here I watch and listen to hear HIS voice. Here I learn to be a daughter of FAITH. A daughter that is intentional right where HE has her. Please partner in prayer with me that I will be a life giver to those I am around in this season. Please pray with me that I will be a woman at rest with where she is in the process.

Sunday, November 21, 2010

Unto the Lamb.

Beholding your beauty is all I long for..
Jesus make this my heart's desire.
To worship You Jesus with my soul's desire..
Make my heart come alive for you again.
For this very heart you've shaped for your pleasure..
Jesus, make my heart feel like yours.
The purpose to lift your name high..
Remind me Lord of the call you have on my life.

Hear and surrender in pure adoration..
I want to want you more than this world Lord.
I enter your courts with an offering of praise..
Bring me into your heart, I need to feel you.
I am Your servant come to bring you glory..
Teach me how to be a laid down lover for you.
As is fit for the work of your hands..
I want to be selfless. I want to love well Jesus.

Now unto the lamb who sits on the throne..
I am a daughter of the most high king.
Be glory and honor and praise..
Jesus, please receive glory from all I do and say.
All of creation resounds with the song..
Even the birds worship you Lord.
Worship and praise him the Lord of Lords..
You are my everything and I will adore you.

The spirit now living and dwelling within me..
Fill me more with your Spirit Jesus!
Keep my eyes fixed ever upon Jesus' face..
Even in the pain, keep my eyes on you Father!
Let not the things of this world ever sway me..
I want nothing else but YOU JESUS!
I'll run 'till I finish the race..
Continue to direct my steps Lord!

Tuesday, November 16, 2010


Do you ever hope that the rain will stop falling just to give you enough time to run to your car? Do you ever hope that cute boy you see everyday running at the same time as you will just "bump" into you? Do you ever hope we will sing your favorite songs on Sunday morning? Do you ever hope your heart will stay in that joyous place of everything seeming to be going just right?

What do we do when the rug has been pulled out from under us and our HOPE seems to be long gone? What do we do when life tries to distract us with its many demands and our HOPE fades away?

As I sit here, I am listening to a CD titled HOPE, I am looking at a canvas with the word HOPE painted in the middle of it. My favorite song right now "Magnolia" by Ellie Holcomb sings, "You've been HOPING you can make it right, but the more you try, the more you're failing."

Is my HOPE in JESUS alone? Do I have HOPE in His name. When everything is stripped away from me, or nothing seems to be going right, or I am lost and confused, can I still have HOPE that HE is good.

These are just some thoughts that have been on my heart the past couple of days... I long for my HOPE to be in HIM. I want to want Him more than this world.

Saturday, November 13, 2010

I am Restless until I rest in YOU

If you had to ask me one word to describe my heart right now I would have to say it is very broken. In the last month I have seen and experienced more broken relationships than ever before. I have watched some of my best friends have their hearts broken by the men in their life. I have had my own heart broken by a boy and friends. I have watched satan attack some of the dearest relationships in my life. I have cried A LOT. I have prayed A LOT MORE. I have sought the Lord unceasingly. I have asked for wisdom. I have listened to the same cd on repeat for three weeks straight. I have ran more miles in the last month than I have in my life time. The enemy has tried to fill me with doubt, with hopelessness, with guilt, with regret; BUT JESUS SAYS NO MORE! Jesus is whispering in my ear... I AM YOUR HOPE. I AM YOUR JOY. He sees the brokenness, He is not threatened by what I am seeing. He is smiling, because HE knows what is going to be made out of this broken place. He sees the beauty being shaped out of the pain, out of the tears. He sees my heart and delights in me.