Thursday, December 30, 2010


So, last night I had the most vivid dream. I dreamt that I had gone back to Mozambique. In my dream I was a bit older, like early 30's, and was married with children. We as a family traveled to Mozambique to try and adopt Mido. Mido in my dream was 11. I had not seen him since he was 2. We drove up the red dirt road to the compound to find Mido. I get off the trunk and there is a big festival going on. Lots of singing and dancing. I wasn't sure how I was going to find him. I began to shout "Mido! Mido! Mido" I look to the right and this hansom boy is looking straight at me. He runs up to me and in perfect english says, "I have been waiting for you to come back" I looked at him with tears in my eyes and asked if he even remembered me. He responds, "I could never forget you." Now weeping he places his not so little arms around my neck and hugs me tightly and cries with me. My husband and kids come and join us in the sweet embrace. My kids say to him that their mom has never stopped sharing his story to them and others. They ask him if he will be a part of our family and come back to the states with us. He cries and said that is what he had been praying for since I left him many years earlier.

I woke up with such hope. I know God is calling me to adopt one day. It was almost as if through my dream the Lord was confirming that not only do I have this passion, but the man I marry will too. I want more than anything to adopt Mido. That little boy impacted my life in so many ways two summers ago. And still to this day I think and pray for him. I ache to hold him in my arms and sing him to sleep. I know he is being held by so many others. I know that he is loved and is safe and doesn't need me nor does he most likely even remember me. I just pray that one day I will get to see him again.

Monday, December 27, 2010


What makes you laugh so hard that you almost pee in your pants? Here are some times that I laughed so hard I couldn't breathe...

-kelly and I skiing in Colorado. She could never brake so here she comes flying towards me screaming watch out and poof we go flying into the air. Skis and poles everywhere. Only after I had fallen off the advanced ski lift and had to be pulled by my hood out of the snow by hot ski lift man.
-Watching Malissa cut down the live Christmas tree in our living room with large pliers and then carries the darn thing like Davy Crocket over her shoulder outside.
-Talking to Kiely about past/present boy situations and dying laughing.
-Hanging out with my Mom. Literally the funniest woman I know. She fell down the stairs and had to ice her butt for a week. Only after she was trying to clean the ceiling fan and forgot it was still on. When she stood up on the chair, POW she got thrown across the room with a purple eye.
-Brad the man full of hot air that lingers at our house on occasion.
-Watching a dance video of all of us from high school dance to N*sync Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays in someone's garage.
-Taking the flying sugar gliders to the vet in a pouch and then being mesmerized by the vet's gorgeous blue eyes to the point that I couldn't answer his questions without smiling.

There are lots more.. but that's all for tonight!

Wednesday, December 22, 2010

A Time To Dance

Did you know.. that the eagle only eats life giving food. When an eagle eats something that makes him sick, he flies to the highest rock he can find and lays spread eagle with his wings out against the surface of the rock. He stays there until the sun draws out the poison, freeing him to fly with other eagles again. An eagle has two natural enemies: storms and serpents. The eagle embraces the storm. While other birds are taking cover, the eagle is soaring. Eagles don't fight the storms of life, they wait on a rock for the right thermal current and then using that to carry them higher. The eagle saves his fights for the serpent. Especially when the serpent threatens what is dear to the eagle.

I just finished reading this amazing book. I never ever read. It's very hard for me to sit through an entire movie let alone sit down and read a book. But, I did it! As I read this book places of my heart that I had tucked deep down inside me came to the surface. Memories of the past came flooding to my memory. Good and bad. As I flipped the pages the Lord used the characters of the book to bring great revelation and deep healing to my heart. The story is about a family. A broken marriage. Broken relationships when the enemy is allowed in. Hope. A deep sadness. The power of prayer. Miracles.

It is so funny how the Lord speaks to us. I mean here I was trying to find a hobby aka reading, and my hobby turned into this powerful healing time with Jesus. The Lord keeps putting on my heart the word grace. Jesus calls us to live lives that reflect His kingdom. With that, we are called to show grace onto those around us, those that are intentionally living closely to us. We don't deserve His grace and yet HE POURS MORE AND MORE AND MORE GRACE ON US. It is so hard for us here on this earth to show grace onto those that hurt us, disappoint us, frustrate us, BUT we are called to radical things. That includes living and responding from a place of love and grace to those that are placed in our lives.

Quick story...The other night one of my best friends and I went to Olive Garden for a quick soup and salad dinner. Our waitress from the second we ordered the cheap 10.00 soup and salad acted as if we were some huge inconvenience. The entire meal, she was very annoyed with us being in her section. At first, I was like pah, I just won't tip you. But then, we decided we should pray for her and bless her even more in our tip. So, we prayed God's love over her and tipped her very well. We received our checks and we're really pumped about the little mints you get after you eat. When we go to open our little books there were no mints. So, we just figured she hated us even more and went about our night. On our way out, we asked the bar tender if he had any mints and he said no we are all out. We left the restaurant, as we walked to the car we hear behind us this man yelling "ladies! ladies!" We turned around, and the bar tender came running up to us not with two mints but with a WHOLE cup of mints. As silly as this story is, it was just such a simple picture of how God loves us specifically. He noticed how we loved and prayed for our random waitress. And He blessed us with a cup of mints.

"Those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary..."

This blog is kind of all over the place, I'll go in detail with those of you that want to know more about the revelations and deep healing the Lord did as I read my book :) Let's remember eagles though. They press into the storms of life and ONLY eat life giving foods. If they do eat something poisonous they lay on a rock and let the SON draw out the poison. Also, live a life of grace! Show grace to even those that don't like you or you don't like them. Ultimately, we are living to please the Father and reflect His kingdom!! LOVE YOU ALL!!!

Thursday, December 16, 2010

Sharing The Good News...

So, for those of you who know me, know that two summers ago I traveled to Mozambique, Africa for three months. It was there that my life was dramatically changed. Since then, it has been quite a struggle to maintain all that I learned that summer in my everyday life here in Knoxville, TN. I know many of you feel the same way. We go on life changing, life impacting trips and come home and desire to apply all that we brought home with us into our lives here, but find it a wee bit hard. So, tonight I am cleaning out a drawer in my room where I found my homework journal from Africa. In this journal I was given the assignment to write a paper on what it looks like to 'share the good news to the poor.' I'm going to type out what I wrote. As I reread this one page paper I sat in my floor and wept. I pray that as you read it your heart is moved as well.

Sharing the good news with the poor looks like... leaving all of our comforts at home and going to their huts, cardboard boxes, shacks, mansions, or wherever and being vulnerable with them. Just as Jesus was real with the woman at the well, so should we be completely transparent with the poor. Not just the physically poor, but those that have the poorest spirits and souls too. I truly believe that the body of Christ looks like all of us sitting around in the dirt and holding hands with the joy of the Lord illuminating out of our smiles, our laughs, our tears, our stories, our pain, our prayers, our words, our hugs...No where in that do I think money or nice possessions helps us illuminate His face brighter. We need to break the lies that have been surrounding us saying we are more dignified because of the money in our bank accounts or the nice cars we drive. Jesus sat at the table with the rich, the drunk, the poor , the selfish, the wounded, the thieves and He told stories with them and laughed with them. He allowed HIS heart to connect with theirs. Why do we not do the same? What is keeping our hearts from connecting with the poor? I pray that Jesus strips me of any pride I have that is telling me I deserve the chair instead of the dirt. Sharing the good news with the poor is loving on them as you would your best friend. Sharing the good news with the poor is laughing and telling stories with them as you would your family. Sharing the good news with the poor is coming to them with ONE thing to offer... JESUS!

"Ruin Me" by Jeff Johnson is the song of the night! The Lord used this song to speak so much truth into my heart my Sophomore year of college when I laid the man I loved more than life at His feet. He is using this same song tonight to speak new truth into my very being.

What To Do Next...

Alright, so people I need ya'll to pray that I find some clarity. I am at crossroads right now, I need to make a big decision. Either stay here in Knoxville and do the Fellows Program or move to Nashville. If I stay in Knoxville, I will most likely from now until August nanny for a 2 month year old baby M-F. I have to save 10,000 bucks before August in order to do the Fellows. Nannying seems to be the best route to make that possible. If I move to Nashville I will have a whole new world to explore which would be loads of fun. I also, can do the Fellows and then move to Nashville after. I just don't want to make the wrong decision. I know the Lord will use me no matter where I am, I just need to hear His voice in which direction to go. SO, will ya'll pray and share with me what you feel Him telling you in regards to this next step for me...

Oh and pray that I learn how to not shop. If I am going to save 10,000 bucks, I am going to have to put aside my passion for fashion for a little while.

Wednesday, December 15, 2010


Welp, our house is absolutely freezing. I woke up to the sound of Faith saying, "So, I uh.. blew a circuit out and the heat won't come on!" Ha, I could see my breath IN MY ROOM it was so cold. I am trying to think on the positive side of things and the more I shivvveeerrrrrr the more calories I am burning. Speaking of calories, listen to the funniest story ever. Last night, my roommate and I are at the gym working out. We started on the treadmills running our usual 5k (Baha I sound so legit) anyways, we are running...I keep upping my speed to keep up with her, not to mention praying to God I catch a breath because we are running so fast. So, we are running along and next thing I know I hear BOOM, CRACK, SMACK, BOING (her earphones) and my poor little roommate has been flung off the treadmill. I was still running and freaking out and trying to find the stop button on the darn machine. The kid is bright red from rubber burns and embarrassment. I in my good thinking suggest we head on home, she in her not so good thinking suggests WE RUN ANOTHER MILE. I being the great friend I am knowing she wanted to prove to the gym that she was tough and the fall didn't phase her at all agreed. So, we run some more. Then, I go over to some machine and just kind of stare at it. It was the weirdest looking machine I had ever seen. Next thing I know a trainer approaches me to give me a "lesson" and somehow I am doing lunges all around the gym to workout my legs. Needless to say, I can not walk today and I just shoved chips, pasta, and edamame down my throat.

Random fact for the day: HMU is the most used acronym on Facebook right now. It mean 'Hit Me Up' meaning call me!! haha so peace out people. Til next time, HMU

Sunday, December 12, 2010

How To Survive a Snow Storm...

So, tonight me and my three roommates ventured to CSPC for the Christmas show. On the way there the roads were already a little snowy and icy, but that did not stop us. We arrive at church, play musical seats and worship Jesus while watching the snow fall to the ground through the window. It was such a sweet night. The Christmas music was so beautiful. "let us adore Him, fall down before Him, Jesus Christ is LORD" Gosh, when we were singing these words I had chill bumps. I can not wait for the day that I am in Heaven on my knees adoring my Jesus. Somedays I wish I was already there. I hate how I get so wrapped up in all the drama of this world that I lose sight of living my life ADORING MY KING!

Any who, the topic for this blog was "how to survive a snow storm" I better tell ya'll so you can apply these handy tips to your night.
1. firewood
2. blankets
3. wine (red or white)
4. oreos
5. milk
6. great friends
7. socks
8. Christmas music
9. sled
11. HOT critters aka men to cuddle with by the fire
12. pillows
13. movies (The new Eclipse is out holla)
14. and lots of laughs!

Friday, December 10, 2010

Graduation is TOMORROW

So, today has been a great day. Went to graduation practice. Talk about weird. Met my roommate for lunch. Went shopping all day. Bought an outfit for tomorrow night (C.E.L.E.B.R.A.T.E GOOD TIMES COME ON!) Met a sweet high school friend for coffee. Met the besties for dinner. Ran into a high school best friend. Chatted it up with M. And now I am in my bed and ready to wake up at the crack of dawn to flip my tassel.

I finally feel like I have direction. I am SO excited for what is next. I feel ready and somewhat prepared to face the big girl world. I'm getting a pet frog and naming him "true loves kiss" inspired by Enchanted. If you haven't seen it... stop reading now and hit up the nearest blockbuster and rent it NOW. Me and the frog and Head Coach aka Jesus will tackle this next chapter of life together. It's gonna be great! Pray I meet my husband soon. I mean really it's fine. I can keep chilling. But, it would be very nice to journey through this next chunk of life with the husband unit. So, PRAY! And people we have a wee bit of a situation here, not situation from Jersey Shore for all you messed up youngins that watch it, the situation here is I ONLY HAVE FIVE PAGES LEFT IN THE HUSBAND JOURNAL. This is serious. I have been writing in this darn book for almost 5 years. People keep telling me I can get another one, but UM HELLO I will not start the "I'm praying hard for some boy to come along library" I mean come on people we want to keep the man around not scare him off. I think handing him 19 books of journal writings is a weee bit DRAMATIC don't you think.

Anyways, this is my last night as an undergrad. Tomorrow ya'll won't even recognize me because I will have a diploma in my hand that says Degree in Pokadots!! HOLLA! Oh, and technically UT waits like seventeen weeks to actually mail you the real diploma so really tomorrow I'll hold a fake piece of paper that says this past years football schedule or something! BUT, nonetheless pray I meet the real TRUE LOVES KISS. Till next time.. keep it simple, keep it real, and lets have a great Saturday!!

Monday, December 6, 2010

The Battle is WON!

So, in the last 24 hours every aspect of my life has been hard core attacked. God is up to A LOT, which rages the battle even more. BUT the funny thing is, satan has nothing because the BATTLE IS WON. The VICTORY is ours as heirs with Christ. I have all day been in deep thought and prayer. I haven't really wanted to communicate with anyone but my Jesus. All day the only one I wanted to sit with was HIM. All day the only one I wanted to cry to was HIM. I am very aware of the lack of hunger for the Kingdom in my own heart and in those around me. My eyes have been opened to see that satan is fighting to destroy us. My heart has been broken for which breaks HIS heart. I get it. I see it. I long for HIM. I want those I love and even those I don't really like to know HIM the way I do. I want others to walk in the POWER of the CROSS. I want my own heart to beat to the rhythm of HIS heart. "You can have all of this world, just give me JESUS!" I want this to be my heart's desire.

Today, I have been attacked. I have wanted to do nothing but cry out to my HEALER. I have fought lies. I have prayed that this season would hurry up and pass. I have been jealous for those I talk to who seem to have it altogether. (I know you are probably holding out for the AND THEN GOD DID BLANK) welp, I am sorry to say I am still in this place as I write. HOWEVER; I just read my devotional and listen to what it says.... "pressure me that I may grow more human, not through the lessening of my struggles but through the expansion of them. Deepen my hurt until I learn to share it and myself openly, and my needs honestly. Sharpen my fears until I name them and release the power I have locked in them and they in me."

I am going to press into this season even more than yesterday. I am ONLY moving forward. He stills holds me, even when things start to crash down before me, I will still STAND on SOLID GROUND. Hallelujah!

Listen to "You Woke The Morning" By: Mat Kearney

Sunday, December 5, 2010

Becoming Who God Desires...

If we are really following Jesus, we will go to the hard places. Being a Christ follower means being acquainted with sorrow. Because we must know sorrow to be able to fully appreciate Joy. Joy costs pain, but the pain is worth it.

My prayer today is that I will allow the Lord to make me into who He desires me to be. God, you are constantly at work to shape me in the wholeness of Christ, you know the hardness of the structures of my being that resist your shaping touch. You know the deep inner rigidities of my being that reject your changing grace. By your grace soften my hardness and rigidity; help me to become pliable in your hands. Even as I pray this, may there be a melting of my innate resistance to your transforming love.

The other day I went for a run where in between struggling for deep breaths (seriously, it was so cold I couldn't breathe) I began to weep. I challenge ya'll to go for a run in the below zero weather and cry out to Jesus at the same time. It is pretty much an oxygen tanks dream come true. I was running, jamming to Watermark, and crying out to the Lord. I have hit a place in my life that I don't have any control. I have felt my heart ache a deep ache. The other morning I woke up and all I could do was read scripture. Do you ever feel the weight of this life to where you can't move? I laid in my bed and as I read His word, I literally felt my heart lift. I read in Galatians 6:7-10 about what we reap is what we sow. And let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if WE DO NOT GIVE UP. Therefore, as we have OPPORTUNITY, let us do good to all people, especially to those who belong to the family of believers.

Those words hit me deeply. When I was running I was crying out to Jesus because I was tired of loving so well, I was tired of really seeking Him and not seeing my desires being met, I cried out to Him to provide a community that really is after His heart in the way I long to be. I cried out to Him to provide friends that are selfless and deeply committed to the KINGDOM, not the pettiness of this world. When I read these words, He whispered in my ear, "I see you Chelsey. I know your heart is weary. I know you desire to be with your husband. I know you are tired of being a good friend. BUT don't give up. Don't think that you are waisting away. I am MAKING YOU INTO THE WOMAN I CREATED YOU TO BE!" Gosh, can we say phewww! Here I am having a pity party for myself when all along Jesus is fashioning me, changing me, molding me, transforming me from the inside out. He is calling me to be the change this world needs. HE IS CALLING YOU TO BE THE CHANGE THIS WORLD NEEDS. He is calling us to NOT GIVE UP. Even if you are single and 22 years old. Even if you have a college degree and you are a full time nanny. Even if you love your friends deeply and intentionally and don't receive the same in return. Even if your family thinks your nuts because you want to hold the broken, the lost, and the needy and don't care to make 80K a year. He is enough! He is my COMPLETE JOY! He is what sustains me! He is what fills me up. HE is what says I am altogether beautiful just the way I am.

Listen to "Constant" by: Watermark! He is constant! He goes after EVERY heart! Lets be a body that is constantly running after HIM!